As I sit down and write this week's post so many memories, thoughts and emotions run through my whole being. Specially this particular day when is Father's day and my own father's B-day was too. 

I see how life being so misterious, mystical, surprising, uncontrollable and contrasting brings new ways and opportunities to learn about yourself and the people around you. While being little, hardly I understood why my father was not with me and why he did not live with me? I remember my mom saying he was always working and making up stories of his absence but somehow I always felt his presence even though not physically. So many times, I cried out and asked my mom for my dad but she just did not know how to respond back and with time I got to learn more about the truth and the reasons of him not being there.

Even though, back then, those reasons were not just good enough for me simply because of my child's needs. A big part of me understood why he was not there?. Now as time has passed by and I get to experience the fortune and blessing to be a father I see the limitations and challenges he might have faced as a father. Specially when life circumstances puts you into situations that are not dependent only on your own actions and decisions.

How interesting life is that through out your own life it puts you into sometimes similar situations when you get to be raised and when you get to raise your own children. I have read and listen to people saying how different they would like to raise their children from what they were raised by their parents and other's that express the other side of the coin. The truth is that every each one of us has a unique, particular, valid and valuable way of living life and deciding how we want to raise our children. There is NO recipe or one way to do it, the challenge is to teach our own children about this and make them feel unique, special and put the attention to them when you have the opportunity.

As I celebrate my second year of being a father with my particular situation and coincidentally not having Alex today broadens my conscious and prepares me for the future and when I get to celebrate with him. I get to cheerish, value, love and admire what my father did when he had his opportunities with me. As the circle of life is, when you get to be older and with your own children you get to be more aware, value and conscious of what your parents did while raising you. 

I take this final opportunity to applaud, value and admire all my male friends that are both fathers and non fathers. Each one of them are a product and represent in essence the great value of their own Fathers.

Happy Father's Day! 

Till the next post! Keep on smiling and enjoying life

Cheers,

Vic

 

 

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First of all I would like to thank all the people that took the time to read my first blog. Furthermore, I appreciate greatly all of those who commented and/or complimented it. It really brought new and known sensations to me while writing it and after reading the reactions it caused to the people around me. 

As the evening and day comes to an end and looking back over the past week of what has happened, I take a pause and reflect how sometimes or maybe many times in life daily activities can just overtake you. Nonetheless, this specific week for me was an important one considering that I knew for quite sometime that it was going to be my last week with Alex for most of the time since my divorce. Have to admit that spending most of the days with him really gave and expanded my view of life and the way I connected with him and the people around me. 

So many times, we often hear our parents, friends or people in general say how important is to live for the present and value what you have. But behind those words, there is a conscious and an emotional process that it is only perceived and processed in your whole being once you get to live the actual experience at that specific moment in time. Even though I prepare myself mentally for this moment, have to admit that emotionally I was not.

I am conscious that this emotional process of understanding the benefits of having a shared custody (every other week) and not having Alex will take time. Rationally, I know I have understood and identified the positive things of this situation and that I just need to give life and my emotional reactions settle down since it will take time. Focusing on the positive and enjoying the time while having him WILL be my major task. Processing the emotional reactions and connecting consciously my rationale with it will be my major task during the time I do not have him. 

As I left him today with his mom and looking at him happy and smiling I knew everything will be fine. Alex has and will have the best of the two worlds and both his parents. I am calm and feel grateful I have this opportunity even though my ideals are not completely fulfilled. I guess that as many things in life, once again it is about making the best of what life gives you.. right? It is all about the process of adaptation :-)

One of the positive things for this next week is that I will still pick him up for school and spend few hours with him :-) but each week will definitely be different.

In the meantime, I keep his laugh and smile in my memory and heart! while I go to sleep and until I see him to fuel my life again.

Till the next post! Keep on smiling and enjoying life

Cheers,

Vic

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So many things cross my mind as I write this first post. I have tried to understand and still figuring it out how I am going to become a blogger. Of course I have to admit that this is a new territory for me. Something I have just seen and read from others but never took the time to start exploring it deeper and apply it to my own life. I hope that I can manage to learn quickly as my objective is to share life and what on my perspective it is important. I am still deciding if this is going to be a private or public blog but I just guess that I will start having it public to simply explore and see what this is all about. I understand that I have to be conscious and respectful to others as I am to myself. That whatever I express now or in the future impacts life and with that premise, I will ensure that I try to be as conscious and respectful on my sharing.

I guess that with time and the experiences I get from this I can modify my future posts and of course the interactions I get from other people to being private and/or public. It will be interesting to see where this journey takes me :-) In the meantime, I am curious to also read and learn from other people's posts to my own.

What a better way to start this wonderful adventure by sharing what has been the GREATEST moment of my life. Something that I had inside of me and that it materialized on February 23, 2009. Being fortunate and blessed to be a parent has been quite a remarkable experience that I am STILL learning. For such a long time, I thought I had that sense of wanting to be a parent but I did not understand to what degree? Of course, when you get conscious about the idea of becoming a parent when you are younger (mid 20's) it seems like a scary thought. For me, I had no clue what, when and where I was going to become a parent but I was conscious and wished that I had that opportunity at some point of my life. 

Knowing many friends and acquaintances that have been parents or looking to become plus reading especiallized books regarding parenting has given and still gives me different views and values of it. On a more personal note, having experienced and raised by only my mom fueled up that idea of wanting to become a father. Even though my father loved me and could not live with me, his absence helped me form my character and views of life and parenting.

With that all said, Alexander came to my life during a time of major changes of my life. I had just recently moved into Sweden (1 year) and recently married. Oh yeah! maybe too many changes, adaptations and situations going on in a short period of time, but guess that is what life brings right?  Of course, my instinct pulled me into this wonderful experience even though having additional major changes to my personal and married life. As time and life has moved forward with all these changes, I am in a point of major extasis and deep connection with this wonderful creature that is my son. Conscious to say that as everyone knows "everything happens for a reason" and even though at some points during my life I have thought and felt how hard, painful and difficult it has been, at the end everything sorts out for the best. I am a true believer of that and thank life and God for that chance to experience adversity and the beauties of it.

Being a single dad is as challenging as not being a single parent. Children are such a force of energy, present time, attention and emotions that are moving - non stop and on a much quicker pace that you can already imagine BUT living and emotionally experience each day with those situations definetely puts you in the right perspective. 

I am happy to be Alex's dad and thank him for letting me learn about him and parenting as he grows up.

Till the next post! Keep on smiling and enjoying life!

Cheers,

Vic

 

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